“How Do I Fight Scanxiety”

Scanxiety_BlogIt’s incredible how you can forget about your first cancer like it never existed before. After everything I have went through with the tumor on my femur, and then a major infection, I completely forgot. I am still living life with Metastatic Thyroid Cancer. Crazy and scary all at once. It didn’t slip my mind during the femur surgery.  Today was scan day for Thyroid Cancer, and I was petrified to get my scans done today. Lots of “What ifs”. But, I got through it. My Oncologist told me my pet scan looked stable and my lung mets are stable but I will have to repeat the scans in three months to see where I am at. Unfortunately, I will never be out of the woods she said. I probably have to start chemotherapy as soon as possible. The issue is based on the cancer genes I had tested. I may not be qualified for one of them due to my genes. I go back in August for a repeat of the scans and we will take it from there. I am nervous because once I am on this chemotherapy, I can never get off it. Plus, I heard it is very expensive because its a clinical trial.  I will let you all know more once I know more in August 2020. I am still hanging on by a thread. I don’t even know how I even function most of the time. I do a lot for a person that is really sick. But, I refuse to allow this cancer to define who I am so that’s why I continue to push through these never ending hurdles. It’s not easy for me to slow down either. It’s something I have to work on but it is hard. I hate asking for help, I rather do it myself because it’ll get done faster and quicker and I can move on to the next thing I have to do. Slowing down after my last surgery in December has been very difficult.